swimming and things


i am a timebomb waiting to go off

bit by bit i know im crumbling inside and i dont know where or when its going to happen – simultaneously my exterior gets stronger as i discover purpose but im scared when they meet – will i become a shell or start afresh?

sick feeling in my guts + cramps

i want you to hold my hand lol

i want to put my head below water, learn how to swim competitively again but i am ashamed of my body

i miss being underwater

swimming gives me a rush of joy and adrenaline ive never felt anywhere else, the water is where nothing is in my control except myself i miss swimming lol

so everytime i feel sad i watch joseph swim at the olympics (though i try not to, so it feels special) and here’s also what i really like:

(^ where missing swimming started in 2016)




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