everything needs to slow down, its been a (somewhat rewarding and purposeful) cycle of wake up, working, focusing, smiling, running down my mental checklist of things to do, tearing the bottom of them and throwing them away in my mental wastepaper basket, more smiling, more dazed moments where i obsessively pick at my nails and try to tear them away – not all have been sacrificed yet – i am anxious i am nervous. my jaw aches from my unknowing clenches – its also having a toll on my poor teeth and i have no idea when this started, my dentist said its becoming a problem – when did i start and i have no idea how to end i only catch myself after ages doing it, tensing myself in places that should not be to contain all this energy.
there is so much that has to be done and life’s barely started and im sitting here skipping through spotify crying i want to be locked away, to take time off to care for myself, to be kinder to myself with my thoughts and the things i say – i stand strongly by being a better person everyday, for the community and world. im not doing a very good job at it but all these new fancy positions that will hopefully (and has, so far done so) help make me better for this world. but i too, need a reason to be better of a person for myself.
life is short, time is fleeting.
be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself, be kind to yourself.